"Three Years Sober: My Journey to Quitting Alcohol and the Lessons Learned During the Pandemic and Beyond"
Three Years since the start of the Pandemic and the start of my life 2.0. AKA - the start of my taking a break from alcohol.
Three years ago, I was a mess on the inside. My mental health wasn't good. But, my spiritual health was improving, and that’s one of the reasons I was questioning my drinking. My physical health was fair to midland.
I had come to an impasse. Something had to change. Most mornings, I looked into the mirror with self-loathing. Imposter Syndrome plagued me. Even though I didn't know that was what the term was.
Let's face it, I had/have a great life! But I worried about everything. I created even more, overwhelm in my already busy life. The mental abuse I perpetuated on myself was far more abusive than my first marriage, fueled by my drinking.
I had mastered the art of people-pleasing in all areas of my life. Which also disgusted me.
But, March 24th was a different day. We had a "social distancing" driveway gathering. Sitting in the cold, drinking some wine in my insulated mug with Matt and our neighbors. I think about my kids asking what we would have for dinner that night. "Have a frozen pizza," I said. I would instead usher in the season of unknowns with our friends with our drinks than be with my kids having dinner.
In the middle of the night, I woke up with a headache and was dehydrated.
"This has to stop. Why can't I stop?" "God, why can't I stop?" "Help."
He answered with an online group called Sober Sis- A 21-Day Reset. That was the start, then the intro to the books, This Naked Mind & The 30-Day Alcohol Experiment, The Sober Diaries, Alcohol is Shit, Alcohol Explained, Alcohol Lied to Me, & We are the Luckiest. These were the first books I devoured in the first few months of the Pandemic.
I would have never thought that I would not drink again. However, what I learned could not be unlearned. No amount of ethanol is good for you! Period. I just heard this again on the Huberman Lab Podcast this very morning. Dr. Attia, M.D., the podcast host, The Drive, and author of the new book, "Outlive: The Science & Art of Longevity." The interview examines disease prevention, and again this doctor is not anti-alcohol. He still drinks on occasion, but not daily. His recommendations are no more than 1 a day and not 7 days a week or 7 drinks in one day. He also stated that if you haven't started drinking, don't.
In reality, drinking occasionally is not a problem- like once a month or for special occasions. However, daily/weekly drinking, like I was doing, is considered heavy drinking and sometimes binge drinking.
So, what have I learned in these last three years? Here are 23 things!
March 20-26 has been designated National Drug and Alcohol Facts Week, and my 3rd Alcohol-Free Birthday is March 24th. That's pretty cool!
That many people are like me, stuck in a "drinking purgatory" of sorts. One foot in the world of what many deem acceptable or "normal" drinking, but it is actually heavy and harmful to your health. The other foot is in this place of knowing that this isn't right but not knowing why or how to change anything.
Alcohol is a highly addictive drug and has been named the most harmful drug in numerous studies.
Studies that say alcohol is good for you are usually funded by big alcohol if you dig into the research.
Alcohol is the most used addictive substance in the U.S. 1 out of every 12 adults suffers from an alcohol abuse or dependency issue based upon research from the National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence (NCADD). In the U.K., alcohol misuse is the most significant risk factor for death, ill-health, and disability among 15-49 year-olds and the fifth biggest risk factor across all ages. (Thanks, Annie Grace, TNM author, for this info.)
The World Health Organization found that 3 million people worldwide die from alcohol. One person every 10 seconds dies from alcohol.
Sometimes I feel like I'm all alone in this. Other times, I don't!
I've been called to help others with AUD. (Alcohol Use Disorder)Many don't understand my passion for helping others!
I'm not an Alcoholic, and you are not either - The term is no longer recognized by the DMS-5. DSM–5 integrates alcohol abuse and alcohol dependence into a single disorder called alcohol use disorder (AUD) with mild, moderate, and severe sub-classifications. What is the DMS-5? Google it.
Many people who have suffered from AUD like to call themselves "Alcoholics," and it empowers them, and I think that is great! However, the term kept me stuck for about 7 years because I didn't want to be labeled.
There are many paths to leaving alcohol behind.
Many people think it was my fault that I got addicted to a highly addictive substance. Once again, blaming the person and not the drug.
Alcohol causes 4% of cancers diagnosed worldwide in 2020 can be attributed to alcohol consumption, according to the World Health Organization. In the United States alone, about 75,000 cancer cases and 19,000 cancer deaths are estimated to be linked to alcohol each year.
Alcohol ages you! If you want healthy-looking skin, eyes, and coat (Hair), quit drinking ethanol.
There is a recent study saying bourbon is beneficial to your looks. If that is true, the more you drink, the better you look. All those poor homeless addicts would look amazing if this was the truth.
Remember, if something seems too good to be true, it is.
Our medical providers need to educate themselves on the facts.
The hypocrisy among our medical professionals is astounding. Mamos and Momosas is the most infuriating event ever! Fundraising for cancer or heart health research and serving a carcinogen is mind-blowing to me!
Please read the following excerpt from BreastCancer.org: "Research consistently shows that drinking alcoholic beverages — beer, wine, and liquor — increases a woman's risk of hormone-receptor-positive breast cancer. Alcohol can increase levels of estrogen and other hormones associated with hormone-receptor-positive breast cancer. Alcohol also may increase breast cancer risk by damaging DNA in cells."
"Compared to women who don't drink at all, women who have three alcoholic drinks per week have a 15% higher risk of breast cancer. Experts estimate that the risk of breast cancer goes up another 10% for each additional drink women regularly have each day."
"Teen and tween girls aged 9 to 15 who drink three to five drinks a week have three times the risk of developing benign breast lumps. (Certain categories of non-cancerous breast lumps are associated with a higher risk of breast cancer later in life.)"
"While only a few studies have been done on drinking alcohol and the risk of recurrence, a 2009 study found that drinking even a few alcoholic beverages per week (three to four drinks) increased the risk of breast cancer coming back in women who'd been diagnosed with early-stage disease."
I no longer struggle daily with Hangxiety and Depression.
I didn't even touch on heart health and what it does to your brain. I idolized alcohol and didn't credit myself for being a fantastic person without alcohol. I didn't know that I could have fun without alcohol. Didn't know that you could go to a wedding and still have fun not drinking! I was actually pretty dull just drinking. We are saving some money because we don't drink - Our restaurant bills are at 1/2 the cost now!
I no longer keep track of days but still, have the tracker app on my phone if someone asks.
Finally, I feel a better connection with my life, family, and God. Alcohol numbs everything, including your connection to your mind, body, and spirit. My intention was never to quit but to gain control over alcohol so I could go back to drinking "normally."
Unfortunately, this FOMO, Fear of missing out, kept me stuck for a long time. Joy of Missing Out, JOMO, is what I found through this letting go, and keeps me moving forward.
If I can do it, you can too!
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
Joy is the simplest form of gratitude. - Karl Barth