This blog post discusses the challenges faced by couples when one partner decides to continue abstaining from alcohol while the other chooses to drink moderately. The author emphasizes the importance of respecting individual journeys and not trying to change the other person. They share their own experience of taking a break from alcohol while their partner opted for moderation. The author highlights the significance of having alternative options like mocktails or non-alcoholic beverages available and being supported by their spouse. They encourage readers to focus on their own internal motivations, be respectful of their partner's decisions, and find common ground in their relationship. The post also mentions that pressuring or nagging a partner can hinder their willingness to explore alternative approaches. The author concludes by sharing that their partner eventually participated in the Alcohol Experiment and experienced numerous health benefits, highlighting the importance of allowing personal growth to unfold naturally.

I drank normal. I drank like everyone else I knew! 2- 3 glasses of wine or beer several nights a week and more on the weekends.

Seriously, this was my normal. But, was this “normal” for everyone else?

This question comes up so much with clients. Have you ever wondered what it means to be a "normal" drinker? We all have this idea that “alcoholics” are those who hit rock bottom with lost jobs, homes, or DUIs, while the rest of us are just "normal" drinkers. But seriously, what does that even mean? Normal is a setting on your dryer- for crying out loud! So, let’s work on dropping this concept of normalcy when it comes to drinking alcohol and question the assumptions we've been fed.

I would rather kick the can down the road than question my thinking. I would often think, "My drinking isn't that bad to have to quit?" A better question to ask is, "Is my life good enough like this?" Full of hangxiety and regrets, I just stayed stuck in a constant "groundhog" day.

You Can Do Anything You Use To Do Drinking Alcohol Free - Like Going To A Concert!

Last Friday night, we went to the Walker Hayes Concert! We are still doing the things we love to do AF!

Don’t believe the lie that you can’t have fun without alcohol! Be a Sober Rebel! Going against the grain!

It’s all about your mindset!

Three years ago, I made a life-changing decision to take a break from alcohol. It was the start of my "life 2.0" and a journey towards a healthier, happier, and more fulfilling life. At the time, I was struggling with my mental health and questioning my drinking habits. Despite having a good life, I was plagued by self-loathing, imposter syndrome, and overwhelm. I was a master of people-pleasing and struggled with addiction, and my drinking fueled mental abuse.

Why Can’t I Get This? Why Am I Falling Apart?

In the fall of 2015, I was at home. The kids had left for school. It was a very dark time for me. I was full of emptiness, Calling out for help. Dark thoughts of wishing I was dead or never born were swarming in my head. (My own George Bailey moment.) Praying for God to help me. I called Matt. “I can’t go to work. I need help!” I couldn’t move. I just sat and cried.

I got into counseling finally at age 47. Things got better. I gained tools to help me, but the one thing I needed to release was still in the room. The one thing I still leaned on and went to was alcohol. I never shared with my therapist that I was using alcohol to numb out from my own internal disappointment in my life.

I could feel the heat and anger rise! I just wanted to work out. Why can't my remote be where I left it? Just put it back. After 15 minutes of looking and searching the couch cushions, I went to ask for help. I went to my husband's office.

I yelled something to the effect of, "I am 'blanking' sick to death of having to look for the remote every morning!" "You need to tell your son if he wants to watch t.v. that he needs to put the remote somewhere it can be found!"

This is how I would often greet my husband at 6:00 am or 5 pm when he would arrive home from work. My temper at times was like a lightning bolt! I could be set off by the littlest of frustrations!

I could keep writing about all I’ve learned. I have no regrets. I’m an adult and if I want to have a drink I can have one. But, right now I’m not drinking because I feel so much better!

Are you questioning your relationship with alcohol? Maybe you're like me, you have tried before to cut back on your alcohol. You decided to not drink in the morning only to hear the Wine Witch calling for you at 5 pm. You got off to a strong start and then your willpower ran out the door. You are not alone. There’s nothing wrong with you.

You step out in faith.

You set a goal, and you work hard. You get want you wanted and celebrate! Then, you see your beautiful goal in your hands, and just like sand, it falls through your fingers. There is nothing you can do but feel the disappointment and learn from it. But disappointment is hard to handle at any age, even at age 54.

You know that, ethically, you would not work that way. You've worked for corporations. You know contracts can be signed and rescinded at any time. The day before you are to start, in fact, hours actually. Ouch, that hurt! We live in a world of nuance, and sometimes the world you have left in the far past steps up and says, "hello, it's not personal, it's business."

888 DAYS AF!

As my son says, "It's all about the GAINS!"

But when I thought about quitting alcohol, it was all about deprivation! Like many of us, I was focused on what I would have to give up. A completely normal response, by the way.

I was so scared to give up my wine or craft beer because how would anything be fun without alcohol?

How could I socialize without a glass of wine in my hand?

How could I get through events without a beer?

How could I go on vacation?

Finally, how would I be able to toast my kids and their new spouses at their weddings?

I was fixated on missing out! I mean, how can we do anything without a glass or two of wine or a cocktail?

Here we are; it's the 4th of July weekend already! Summer is half over. Next Tuesday, you will see all the Back-to-School supplies at Target & Walmart, and Hobby Lobby will have "It's Fall Ya'LL" out, and Christmas decorations will begin to appear! YIKES!

So, we are officially halfway through the year. How do you feel? Are the resolutions from January 1st long gone? Or are you still working on them? 

This year, personal development has been a priority for me. Healthy life changes like drinking more water, getting better sleep (still a work in progress), and making better food choices. Keeping my morning routine. Not beating myself up if something doesn't go the way I want it to.  

802 days AF and still having “firsts”. I went to my first baseball game AF with my son.⚾️🏟 Mother’s Day Gift!

For non-Americans, last call for alcohol is the 7th inning and the 7th inning sponsor was Bud Zero. What a hugh culture shift! 💯

Now it is not lost on me that Budweiser wants to make $$s, but they are listening to consumer demand. 👏👏👏 Did I have one? No, but the choice was available to me.

Were people still binge drinking all around us. Yes. Did it bother me? 🤨No. Would this have been different experience 700 days ago? Yes. Because 700 days ago I was a different person with new neural pathways. Would I have been tempted back then? Maybe. 🤷‍♀️

The Battle is REAL.

Cravings are the ongoing battle of your conscious mind versus your subconscious brain. The conscious mind has a desire to lose weight, so you make a decision to say NO to the Oreos or the glass of wine; but you may notice, as soon as you decide to not have something, the “craving brain” of the subconscious mind makes you believe that all you want is the thing you said you’re not going to have. It is maddening!

Last week, I celebrated 2 years of living an alcohol-free life. GO ME! My 2nd Adversary or my Soberversary! I'm not a huge fan of the word sober, but I'm starting to be okay with it over time. I NEVER THOUGHT I COULD NOT DRINK, but I no longer drink now, and I love it. Finally, I have the life I always wanted. I'm living in the now!

Many things are happening to me, and it can be overwhelming at times! I have started a new course to become certified as a Christian Mental Health Coach, and I'm really excited about it! I'm volunteering in an Alcohol-Free Group, working my regular job, and trying to get my website and coaching business up and running while balancing family life. That sounds like a lot, and I'm okay with it all. I have been told no more unless I cut something out by my husband.